How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
