If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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