We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
