i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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