remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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