yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
