When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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