at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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