Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize