Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
