ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
