i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
