Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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