Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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