Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
