Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize