Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
