Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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