IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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