I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
