that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
