i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
