they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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