Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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