he shaved USA in his pubs
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
