dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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