We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
