Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
