so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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