even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
