note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My ass is underappreciated
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
