You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
