I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
