And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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