what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
