Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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