Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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