we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
