The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize