He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
