His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
