Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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