Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
