I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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