Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
