oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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