i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
