Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
