I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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