I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Randomize
