i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
