the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
