go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
