what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
