I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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