Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
