you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
