What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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