u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
