Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
