another moral hangover. fuck.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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