She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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