there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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