the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
