Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Houston, we have a squirter
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My liver just had a heart attack.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize