The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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