You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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