I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
